Friends and Friendships

        
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I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about friends and friendships.  It is always through adversity that we learn what people are made of.  Friendships just make life much sweeter and enjoyable.  Recently, a 20+ year friendship ended due to a misunderstanding.  How is it that after 20+ years, someone can walk away from a friendship?  And what does that say about the strength of the relationship?  What hurt the worst  was that this person never reached out to me to discuss our differences.  Through heresay and other avenues, he made a decision to terminate the relationship.  I guess the relationship either wasn't important enough to him or he just wasn't willing to confront me with his concerns.

All relationships, whether friendship, family, or other, begin with communication.  And as the result of poor communication, people tend to not openly express their feelings and as such don't confront each other with their concerns.    Over time, these relationships can sour allowing friends to go their separate ways.  What a shame when this occurs.   So many friendships have been lost due to petty differences which could have probably been solved in under 5 minutes, had one of them only reached out. 

  

Well, this  has led me to evaluate all of my relationships including those with friends, family, church, work, etc.  It is important for me to make sure that I am being honest, open, approachable, and willing to listen.  As it says in James 1:19  "My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."  So easy to say yet hard to follow.

But, I have  developed some wonderful new friendships since moving to Nashville.   While friends do come and go, I believe I have found a few new ones that will continue to grow over the years.  So thanks Blake for being a wonderful friend and pastor,  Elizabeth for helping me grow in a difficult time as well as  being  my wine partner and close friend, to JoAnne for putting up with me as a house "room mate", and to Michael for our 20+ years of friendship.  It is never a long drive to your house in North Carolina my friend.  I have so many others including Kent in Costa Rica, Mark in Atlanta, and lots of new ones here in Nashville through Nashville Hiking Meetup, church, as well as through work.    The most important thank yous though go out to my family for without them I don't know where I would be today. 

So take the time to nurture and grow your friendships.  Make it a priority to be a part of their lives.  Ask them how they are doing and mean it.   Friendships are a blessing and a friend is the channel through whom great emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical blessings flow.  Friends can cheer us when we're sorrowful or depressed.  Friends challenge us, they motivate us, they can provide support for us when life falls apart as well as be our biggest ally when all is going great.  In so many ways, friends can enrich our lives and make us feel  important and most importantly loved.  

In 2007 I wrote a poem about friendship and sent it to the person who walked out of my life earlier this year.   I hope you enjoy it.  

 A Friend

A friend is one thing

That never tires or grows old

He is always there for you

Even when life turns grey and cold

A friend will always love you

And be there by your side

A friend will never abandon you

He will be with you for the ride

People come and people go

As they play their little games

But a true friend will stick up for you

Quick to support and slow to blame

So I will value my friends close

And never will I let them go

 I think how much they mean to me

And I will constantly tell them so

God Bless you my old friend!  May your life be healthy, wealthy, and wise.