Keeping tradition in your Christmas with the Candy Cane

Many of our holiday traditions are based upon symbolism.   One of the easiest and simpliest ways to keep Jesus in Christmas is found in the candy cane.  St. Nicholas often gave candy to children and in 1670, a german choirmaster used candy as a tool to keep children's attention during worship services.  He had hard candy shaped into a shepherd's staff and explained that the white candy represented the purity of Christ.  The shepherd's staff reminded them of the sheepherders' role in the first Christmas.  Within a century, Christmas trees all over Europe and England were having white candy canes handling from them.
In the 1920s a shop in Georgia found a way to hand twist colors into the white candy canes.  This led to an Indiana candy maker adding three red stripes to his canes.  He said that the three red stripes represented the Trinity and that the red color stood for the blood of Jesus which was shed for all of mankind.  Again, the white has come to be represented as the purity and the crook still symbolizes the staff of a shepherd.  The cane turned upside down  also is a representation of the letter J, which is a reminder of the baby who gave his life for the forgiveness of our sins.  Whatever you use them for during this holiday season, teach your children the symbolism of the candy cane and make this season a teaching moment for why we are celebrating "Christ"mas.

Are you measuring success by your finances?

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I have been thinking a lot about how truly blessed I am of late.  Even though I don’t have the material things I once possessed, I am now developing something so much more important.   When I used money as the measuring stick for success, I constantly ended up disappointed.   I am convinced that most of the anxiety that I have had in my life was the tension between what I should have been and what I actually became.  My anxiety was the realization that I might not reach that certain rung on the social ladder for which I had set for myself, forsaking all others to try and get there.  Looking back on my life, one of the most destructive things I have experienced was the desire to be more than I was created to be.   It was an unwillingness to let myself remain where I was in life and to be content with who I was.  Using money as the measuring stick for my life was the single most destructive thing that I could do.  This was because no matter how much my financial situation improved or weakened, with each level, there was a perimeter formed that existed where certain things were just outside my reach, financially.  So, at the end of the day,  I would constantly feel this  sense of lack without regard to where I actually was on the economic scale of success.   

Success needs to be measured not by the financial strength of our balance sheet but by the strength of our conviction to God and to the things that truly matter in life.  For if we only judge ourselves for what we have here on earth, we will be judged for that behavior as we move to eternity.  Money is not bad.  Its what we do with it and where it falls on our list of priorities.  When it becomes the all consuming,  most important thing in our life, it is time to re-evaluate and re-align our ideas and our priorities.  For happiness is a present attitude and not a future condition.  Happiness is with us now or it isn’t.  And, an extra few bucks or a new car isn’t going to give us that happiness that burns to be deep in our soul.   That only comes from God and from prioritizing life.   
So for those of you who are measuring success by your finances, take a minute to evaluate where you are in life and how happy you would be should you lose it all.   If you would still be thankful, then you have your priorities straight.  If you would consider jumping out a window, you may need to re-evaluate.  Then, make a commitment not to look at money the same way again.  

Friends and Friendships

        
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I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about friends and friendships.  It is always through adversity that we learn what people are made of.  Friendships just make life much sweeter and enjoyable.  Recently, a 20+ year friendship ended due to a misunderstanding.  How is it that after 20+ years, someone can walk away from a friendship?  And what does that say about the strength of the relationship?  What hurt the worst  was that this person never reached out to me to discuss our differences.  Through heresay and other avenues, he made a decision to terminate the relationship.  I guess the relationship either wasn't important enough to him or he just wasn't willing to confront me with his concerns.

All relationships, whether friendship, family, or other, begin with communication.  And as the result of poor communication, people tend to not openly express their feelings and as such don't confront each other with their concerns.    Over time, these relationships can sour allowing friends to go their separate ways.  What a shame when this occurs.   So many friendships have been lost due to petty differences which could have probably been solved in under 5 minutes, had one of them only reached out. 

  

Well, this  has led me to evaluate all of my relationships including those with friends, family, church, work, etc.  It is important for me to make sure that I am being honest, open, approachable, and willing to listen.  As it says in James 1:19  "My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."  So easy to say yet hard to follow.

But, I have  developed some wonderful new friendships since moving to Nashville.   While friends do come and go, I believe I have found a few new ones that will continue to grow over the years.  So thanks Blake for being a wonderful friend and pastor,  Elizabeth for helping me grow in a difficult time as well as  being  my wine partner and close friend, to JoAnne for putting up with me as a house "room mate", and to Michael for our 20+ years of friendship.  It is never a long drive to your house in North Carolina my friend.  I have so many others including Kent in Costa Rica, Mark in Atlanta, and lots of new ones here in Nashville through Nashville Hiking Meetup, church, as well as through work.    The most important thank yous though go out to my family for without them I don't know where I would be today. 

So take the time to nurture and grow your friendships.  Make it a priority to be a part of their lives.  Ask them how they are doing and mean it.   Friendships are a blessing and a friend is the channel through whom great emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical blessings flow.  Friends can cheer us when we're sorrowful or depressed.  Friends challenge us, they motivate us, they can provide support for us when life falls apart as well as be our biggest ally when all is going great.  In so many ways, friends can enrich our lives and make us feel  important and most importantly loved.  

In 2007 I wrote a poem about friendship and sent it to the person who walked out of my life earlier this year.   I hope you enjoy it.  

 A Friend

A friend is one thing

That never tires or grows old

He is always there for you

Even when life turns grey and cold

A friend will always love you

And be there by your side

A friend will never abandon you

He will be with you for the ride

People come and people go

As they play their little games

But a true friend will stick up for you

Quick to support and slow to blame

So I will value my friends close

And never will I let them go

 I think how much they mean to me

And I will constantly tell them so

God Bless you my old friend!  May your life be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

A Picture Perfect Holiday

What a wonderful time I had this year with my family in the North Georgia mountains.  This year was the first time that all four siblings as well as our Mom had been together since 2006.  We have been through a lot as a family over the past few years.  Many of you are aware of our strife.  But this Thanksgiving was an opportunity to bridge the difficulties of the past with the possibilities of the future. And one easy and special way to celebrate this was through photographs.  I had talked for weeks about wanting a lot of pictures taken since the future is never promised to any of us.  Nobody knows when God plans to take one of us home so we must treasure the times we have together while we are here on earth.
It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words.  This is especially true when we are trying to capture memories.  In this day and age of digital cameras and camera phones, we tend to take a bunch of photos but print only a few.  Many are now being stored on hard drives and forgotten about-then eventually lost when you replace your old computer with a new one.  Hence, scrapbooks and photo albums have become a thing of the past.  How many times have you been going through an old box of stuff and come across a series of photos that takes you back in time?  And how much fun that can be to sit there and reminisce.  So this year, make an effort to not only take pictures of the family but to print them.  With new technology, you can not only print the date but you can have names and other tags printed right on the photo itself. 
A photo is a time machine that can bring back memories and recreate old emotions.  Don't miss the chance to record these events this holiday season.  Give your future generations something to gaze back on and give them a chance to reminisce long after we are gone.

Family on Thanksgiving Day 2010 Young Harris, Ga.

Why the Title When Doe Pain

OK, my Mom's first question to me was "What does WHEN DOE PAIN mean"?   Well, first off, its a play on words.  With all the blogs out there, you need to be creative.  Secondly, I sit in my chair each evening and through the 16 window panes of my big picture window, I can see and reflect on the beauty of both the river and of nature. Next, I realized that a window pane is a divider per say, a way to separate the inside from the outside, yet it allows you to see and view the other side clearly.  So I decided to go with it.   Hence, the name WHEN DOE PAIN.    It is not my intention to have a bunch of people follow my blog.  As many of you know, I have journaled for years, only to lose all of them in the great flood of 2010 here in Nashville.  No, the purpose of this blog is to express my feelings and ideas about  things.  Some of you won't always agree with me here yet that is exactly what I wish for.  It is here that we can create dialog amongst ourselves which is nothing more than expressing  our opinions.  I hope people can come to  WHEN DOE PAIN  from time to time and get a fresh albeit unique perspective on various topics.  I have lived a life that reflects both sides of the window pane and I am constantly learning more and more each day about perspective.  So, may you enjoy the posts moving forward and I hope to hear from you from time to time as we engage and share our perspectives.  And Thanks Mom for being my first follower of the blog!

The Bridge

What an interesting evening I had  last night as I ventured out in the sub freezing weather to help feed the homeless underneath the Jefferson Street Bridge.  Many years ago, I would have never considered this.  I was too busy with work, making money,  partying, and with self pleasure/endulgence.   It took the Grace of God to get me to understand what is really important in  life while realizing that the sun and the moon don't revolve around ME!  And, It took a major blunder and hitting rock bottom to realize this.   So, as I stood in the cold tonight, I thought to myself:  This could have been me tonight standing in line in 19 degree weather waiting for a hot meal .  And like many of these people around me tonight, I found God when I was at the bottom, when I was under that bridge of life.  But remember, Jesus is the bridge that connects us to God.  Through Jesus, we can be safe  and protected- just as that bridge protects many of these men and women from the elements each and every day.   And never forget that we are all one bad decision away from homelessness and calling any  bridge we can find our home.   
So through this wonderful organization called The Bridge, I was able to help feed, clothe, pass out blankets,  minister, and love on those in need.  It was a wonderful experience.  Anyone wanting to get involved should check them out at www.bridgeministry.org

So, my challenge to you is this?  Find out how you can become a bridge to someone who is drowning in hopelessness, sorrow, and despair. Embrace the spirit of  Jesus, for he forgets nobody, reaches out to all of us, is unselfish, is cheerful and dependable, and always cares for you even when you are alone and you think nobody does.  

When you curl up in your warm "snuggy" on the couch tonight and watch TV or  lay your head on a clean bed or take a hot shower tomorrow morning, remember that there are thousands out there who don't have that option for they will sleep under "the Bridge" tonight.